I woke last night from another one of
my nightmares. I screamed so loudly that I woke my spouse and toddler
daughter, who had once again made her way into our bed. My husband gently
rubbed my back and reassured me I was safe.
My daughter then brought her tiny hand
to my cheek and softly embraced me, stating, “It okay, Momma. I had sweet dreams of kitties and puppies.”
As she regularly reports having such
sweet dreams, her father asked, “Can you send Momma some of your sweet dreams?
Can she dream of kitties and puppies instead of the bad things?”
“Momma dreams?” her father asked, “What
do Mommas dream about?”
“Mommas need to dream about cooking and
cleaning,” she merrily replied.
While there was amusement in my
daughter’s naïve response, those words also brought forth anger. This anger was
not directed at my adorable, comforting child, but at our culture and my own
role in our skewed society. At only
three years old, has my daughter already become conditioned to believe that
women’s roles are as mothers only, to raise the children, cook the meals, and clean
the home? Does she believe she must
spend the remainder of her life subservient and smiling? Does she believe that she can be defined only
in relation to a man?
If so, those are not my dreams for
her. In addition to those delightful
dreams of soft, cuddly puppies that she currently reports, I have far superior,
more significant dreams for my daughter. I dream that my daughter may never find
herself in so many of the unfortunate positions I have discovered myself in.
I dream that my daughter may never work
in an environment where sexism is so commonplace that a complaint is scoffed
at. May she never sit in an employee
lounge where copies of FHM and Maxim are spread across the tabletops, with the
images of barely clad women smeared with greasy fingerprints.
I dream that my daughter will never be
in an occupation where she works more skillfully and competently than her male
coworker, yet earns $2.00 an hour less despite his lack of experience.
I dream that my daughter will never
date a man who requests she step on a scale to verify his belief that she isn’t
trying hard enough to stay pretty for him.
I don’t want her to doubt her self-worth so greatly that she would remain
in this relationship.
I dream that my daughter may never believe
that intelligence is shameful in women.
I never want to hear her say, “I didn’t want to do well on the test
because my friends would just call me a geek for being too smart.”
My greatest aspiration for my daughter,
though, is that she pursue her own dreams – whatever those may be, with
disregard to common gender roles. Should she achieve her goals, I aspire to a
world where she is respected and rewarded consistent to her male counterpart. I
want her to know that some mommas may cook and clean, but they also do, build,
think, teach, inspire, plan, shape, and lead.
My dream is that she believes in herself enough to recognize she can do
any or all of these things.
I know that my nighttime terrors may
not vanish should these dreams be achieved.
However, such dreams would make growing up a girl less frightening for
all young females. So, have sweet dreams
and big dreams, my bright, growing
young woman.
<a href="http://yeahwrite.me/challenge-148/"><img src="http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/challenge148.png"></a>
