As an educator, I firmly believe that there is new knowledge to be gained every single day. Too many people, however, ignore all that the world has to offer them. We choose to watch Honey Boo Boo when we could be watching the History Channel. This is not a judgment because I love me some Mama June making up ‘sketti’; it is just an accurate observation of the American majority. If an individual allows himself to become more consciously open and observant, there is much to be learned. For example, I just learned that the illuminati are trying to take down the rap industry. I now impart this crucial piece of information onto you.
Such information was recently brought to my attention when a student in study hall inquired about my musical interests. “Hey, do you ever listen to rap music?” the young male in the Kobe Bryant tee asked me.
“Like what? DMX?” I returned his question with another.
“DMX?!?” he practically shouted in disgust at my time warped inquisition. He chuckled at me while continuing, “that stuff is so old. No one listens to DMX these days. Oh my god.”
He did recognize the name DMX though, as we then sang a couple verses of“Party Up” together. You all gonna make me lose my mind – up in here – up in here – you all gonna make me act a fool. He then explained to me that DMX has had so many legal issues, including (but certainly not limited to) animal cruelty, reckless driving, rape, menacing, cocaine possession, criminal impersonation, and more because the illuminati has been framing him. People – this man is just an innocent victim of a secret society and you must be aware of this! Your soul depends upon this knowledge.
“The illuminati?” I questioned, while simultaneously rolling my eyes at this seemingly ridiculous claim. “Like Dan Brown Angels and Demons illuminati?”
“Yes. No. Wait. What,” he stumbled to respond, “Who is Dan Brown?” Now – c’mon! I knew who DMX was, so why shouldn’t he know who Dan Brown is? These damn kids today!
Doubt was clearly written all over my face, and this student was adamant in his claim and need to defend the good character of DMX. “Hold up. Hold up,” the young man spoke with strange agitation and commitment regarding the innocence of DMX. He pulled his i-pod from his jean pocket and began scrolling through the touch screen with his index finger. Finally, he had located what he was feverishly searching for.
“Imma prove it,” he said, “Do you know who Rick Ross is? He knows. You need to listen to this.”
He then played me a sweet little ditty by Rick Ross, which absolutely should not have been played in school. I’m fairly certain I heard both “bitch” and “fuck” before finally reaching this crucial line of the song “Holy Ghost”: “they say I’m gettin’ money; must be illuminati.”
Yes. This clarified everything for me. That was sarcasm; that cleared up nothing and just led me to believe Rick Ross should have been in my Creative Writing class so that he had better rhyming skills. Now, if you’ve been following me, or know me in real life, you know I have a curious mind that never, ever, ever stops running. So, naturally I googled the shit out of Rick Ross, DMX, and the illuminati.
Apparently, Rick Ross has been trying to recruit the formerly incarcerated DMX to his label, but DMX declined. In an interview with Vibe magazine, DMX shared, "I respect him as an artist, but he got that whole illuminati thing going on. I don’t really know what that’s all about, so this [his decline of the offer] might be a good thing.” Ross would also like to recruit others to the illuminati, and this is alluded to in his “Free Mason” lyrics.
Through further research, I discovered several theories that suggest the vast majority of the rap industry, and pop musicians, became famous by selling their souls to the illuminati and have now become mere “poppets” of these people in exchange for money and fame. This actually makes a little sense. I have often wondered why Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were so wildly popular. If you look here, you will see that they are among those artists potentially linked to the illuminati.
Many artists sacrifice more than they are aware of, and this is why they often lose people close to them at the peak of their career. Consider Kanye West and his mother. Now I’m gonna let you finish, but uhm … Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time. This brings me to the fact that Jay-Z is also associated with the illuminati. Lil’ Wayne also confesses his association when he admits he no longer has a soul in the lyrics “when I look at the mirror in the morning, I don’t see anything.” If I listened to Lil’ Wayne, I would have interpreted this more like a literary analysis and believed it alluded to his loss of self-identity given the influx of fame. No, no, no, my friends. This means he’s a demon of sorts. I mean, vampires have no reflection, right? Lil’ Wayne is a fucking monster. I thought this anyway, but no … literally, a monster … not just an ass.
You probably also thought, as I did, that “Slim Shady” was a nickname or moniker for Eminem. Again – you have been fooled by a secret occult society of pop superstars and money hungry whores. “Slim Shady” is actually the name of the demon that has come to possess the man who made Rihanna sing “I love the way you lie.” And --- yes --- you assumed correctly; Rihanna is also associated with the illuminati.
So, my student wasn't entirely correct; the illuminati actually run the rap industry rather than trying to take it down. And here I thought he was just a kid talking some nonsense; what a fool I have been. I am so thankful he straightened my ass out. From this same student I further learned that Tyler the Creator signed a contract with Lucifer himself in order to gain his fame. I would tell you who Tyler the Creator is, but I have no fucking idea and I have already wasted enough valuable time researching this nonsense. You’re welcome. And if you knew all of this years ago, fine … you are clearly cooler than me, or you have also taken allegiance with Satan.
I would like to remind you that I live in the “middle of butt-fucking nowhere,” so there’s a lot of news that I stumble upon well behind the times. I’m still wearing Jordache jeans and tossing my hair in a side pony tail. Don’t judge; I’m just geographically disadvantaged. However, this may serve me well as it makes it more difficult for the illuminati to locate me, which I am certain they will be doing upon publication of this post. Please send prayers and crucifixes if you know where I live, but don’t give my address to any members of the occult even if they promise to get you a deal on Rick Ross’ label.