Friday, November 2, 2012

Blogging's Most Bad-Ass Bitches


Yesterday, Blogger decided it would be a good day to fuck me, and so it failed to function properly.  Therefore, I was unable to begin National Blog Post Month.  Despite Blogger being a bastard, I am trudging on.  I will not accept defeat even though Day One could be classified as an “epic fail.”  My resilience leads me to share one of my favorite quotes from Mary Pickford: “This thing we call failure is not in the falling down, but the staying down.”  If you are a friend or follower, you know that this girl always, always, gets back up  -- even when others would like to see me stay on the ground. 

There are a few folks that are always happy to see me rise again – and many of them exist within the blogging community.  When I first began blogging, I had no idea what a supportive group of individuals existed out there in the blogosphere. It’s been about three months since I started this journey, and nearly every day I’m discovering some great new voice or being discovered by a blogger who is already far more established than I.  There’s two fantastic communities that I owe much of this wonderful ride to – yeah write and Blogger Idol.  I had hoped to have my play at home link up yesterday, but you know … Blogger was being a bitch.  Blogger was not being a fun bitch like me either; it was a nasty bitch.  Yes, there is absolutely a difference. 
 
 

This week’s Blogger Idol play at home link is truly a tribute to the beautiful blogging community.  It began from the concept “Good Bloggers Pay it Forward,” and thus the assignment was to discuss and promote at least four of your favorite blogs – with one of those blogs belonging to an individual associated with Blogger Idol.  Because I always need to bend the rules at least a little bit, I’m focusing on five amazing blogs this week.  Furthermore, all these blogs are from intelligent, witty women that could totally kick your ass if it came to that.  I want these bad ass bitches on my side, so let’s begin:

#1.  I met Susannah Brown through yeah write, and I am absolutely certain that we would be besties in real life.  We already discussed buying those necklaces we all had in about sixth grade – you know the ones that are split in the middle and when placed together read “Best Friends,” and make everyone else feel excluded.  Susannah writes over at Whoa Susannah! (formerly Write, Rinse, Repeat) and she is one hell of a witty wordsmith with a colorful upbringing that left her with many unique characters.  Susannah also coined the brilliant term “Douche Zeppelin” for when that stoner ex-boyfriend was such a massive pile of shit that douche-bag doesn’t properly describe the full force of his asinine existence.  I love her for this! You would love her too, so be sure to check her out because her “self-worth is based on page views.”  
 

#2.  Elizabeth Jayne Liu is the most adorable thug you will ever meet in your life.  I feel fairly certain she hates me right now for calling her adorable, but I just want to squeeze her cuteness … and then we can go cut a bitch together.  Like me, Elizabeth doesn’t feel the need to filter herself.  She admits that she tried to stop swearing once, but this led to drugs.  Elizabeth is leaps and bounds and other big jumping kinds of words more popular than me, but I still want to plug her awesomeness.  She is totally hilarious, and also offers excellent advice.  Such advice is evident in her checklist to determine if you’re dating a mother fucker.  Liu poses such questions as “Do all of his ex-girlfriends hate the shit out of him?” Answer yes to any of the questions involved in this asshole assessment and Liu offers: “Run like the wind, bitch, run like the wind.”  If you aren’t already following her blog, run like the wind to Flourish in Progress and embrace (t)hug life with Liu.
 

#3.  This one is my required Blogger Idol candidate.  However, I would have recommended her regardless.  It’s the CheekyDiva – deep thoughts from a shallow mind.  You will know why I’m loving on this lady if you head over to her blog right now and read the current post heading: “Hey Dumbass – yeah you, listen up!”  I want to get shit-faced with this woman and shout insults at random strangers.  I think we had the same idea going into blogging.  She recalls her start-up like this: “ Me: I’ll start a blog. It will be the most bestest creation ever. All will read and bow down to me and I will have a book deal by the end of the first week.”  If you’re a friend or follower, this sounds far too much like me.  Does everyone remember when I sent a letter to Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) at week six, whining: “I’ve been at this shit for like six weeks.  Why am I not wildly popular by now? What the fuck?”  The Cheeky Diva shares plenty of her WTF moments too, and they are all laugh out loud (really) hysterical. 
 
#4.  Mayor Gia is another blogger I discovered through the wonderful world of yeah write.  But, Mayor Gia doesn’t just write like the rest of us boring, tiresome fucks.  She is an amazing animator, and is guaranteed to have you laughing (yes, out loud).  Truth be told, my own spouse reads more posts from Mayor Gia than he does from me.  Expect to read my post about getting a divorce in the coming weeks (yeah, not really – I fucking love him, and who else would put up with my crazy ass?).  Anyway, let’s get back to Mayor Gia, who had the brilliant idea of adult trick-or-treating for alcohol.  This is another woman I want to drink with – but no wine coolers.  In the world of Adult Trick or Treat, Bartles and Jaymes is equivalent to pennies or rotten bananas.  She’s the mayor of her own crazy town, and sheriff too.  I wouldn’t mind getting in trouble with the law if it meant spending time with this bad ass babe.

#5.  Yeah … you guessed it.  I need not spread the love for her; it’s already out there – lots and lots of love.  Nonetheless, Jenny Lawson is truly an inspiration to me, and many others.  Lawson is an inspiration not for her blog alone, but for sharing her life with us – no holds barred.  I love that she addresses her anxiety and depression, letting us know we are not alone.  Such sharing and motivating is a personal goal of mine as well, through my writing and my every word and action in life outside the blogging community.  Lawson also allowed me to trust myself and be genuine.  Yeah, I said “fuck.”  So what?  I love Lawson’s phrase: “It’s only offensive to assholes.”  I embraced that shit like nobody’s business!  Like Mother Teresa, but better, if you’re not already all over that, you need to check out TheBloggess right this fucking instant!
 

And I also have to give a shout out here to my best friend, Angie.  Angie doesn’t blog, but she reads mine faithfully and encourages me constantly.  Angie read Lawson’s blog after Beyonc√© (not Knowles – the giant metal rooster … you really oughtta know) blew up and went crazy viral.  She heard my voice in Lawson’s and recognized our similar personalities and struggles.  Thus, Angie felt I could write a popular blog too, and I never, ever would have embarked upon this journey without her.  So, thank you so much Angie! I love you to the moon and back! Thank you for believing in me.  You have helped me back up time and time again, and I am so blessed with your friendship! Heart icon. Smiley face.

#payitforward

Help spread the love by liking Not Appropriate Angela on facebook!

And, Blogger is still being naughty, but the links should work even if they are not properly highlighting.  I linked up the first mention of the blog title, not the individual author's name.  Do check them out -- for reals! These women are wonderful!!! (3 Exclamation Marks = You better believe that shit)

10 comments:

  1. You is good, you is awesome, you is important. Thanks so much, bestie. Your blog conjures up a plethora of emotions for me- sometimes hilarious laughter and sometimes tears. You got something special, girl. Keep rocking the hell out of it. And yes- I used the word plethora up there. Also, i found some bff necklaces online, but those bitches were only 10 karat gold. This bitch needs 14, or I be breaking out in green hives and shit.
    Thanks!

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    1. Green hives = ain't nobody got time for that shit! Thanks bestie!

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  2. I love ALL of these blogs, and I so approve this post. Especially Mayor Gia. She cracks me up to the point of tears sometimes.

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    1. Totally love your blog too Ashley! Good luck writing the novel this month. I think you can do it. Are you going to go with the fiction piece you started on yeah write? I thought you had great characterization there. And yes ... Steinbeck felt this way too. <3

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  3. I liked you on fb and like and follow your favorite bloggers. Can I be in the coolclub? I will bring cookies. Or wine. Or both.
    -opinion8dhermit/disorderlywanderlust yippee for yeahwrite so I could find you and others!

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    1. Yes! Wine please! And .. totally second your "yippee" for yeah write. I decided Erica is like a blogging fairy godmother. :)

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  4. You are SO SWEET! Thanks so much for the shout out! I still don't have power at home, but I'm stealing some now and I'm so glad I visited this post today!

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  5. Hey Angela. I felt the need to thank you here, even though I've done it already on my blog and on Twitter, and on Facebook. Is that enough for you? I appreciate that you recognize my badassnessness, and applaud you for not filtering yourself as you say. I am not so brave. I used to write with reckless abandon, and as a result I have been shunned by my entire family. That's no joke! Fuck them, who needs em? I have my kids and my husband's family, they all love me for the retard I am. So, with a little more thought to who I'm going to piss off, I press on. Thanks again, and I think you're funny as shit. :-)

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    1. You are welcome. It is deserved. And did you notice my tag line: "Keeping shit real and alienating my relatives." I get it. I'm just keeping in mind the bloggess' advice that if someone is offended, they're probably an asshole.

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  6. What a fun list!

    I only knew 2 of them.

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