Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Don't Mess with Pat Monahan


If you follow me on facebook, you already have a heads up on the tale that is about to unfold.  If you don’t follow me, why the hell not? Hit that “like” button, yo.  You would know that yesterday  I posted a comment on my writer page about the random dream I had the night before.  In that dream, my friends Angie, Melissa, and I were all out to eat at a fine restaurant before planning to go club-hopping (something we do never in real life because I live in the middle of nowhere).  We were all looking damn good.  I had on a little black dress and a stunning silk black and white striped scarf wrapped around my head like I was Jackie O.  The details are really irrelevant, but this is how well I am able to recall my dreams, and this is also why my husband is annoyed as shit every time I want to share them with him. 
"I'm so gangster. I'm so thug."  Really, Pat Monahan, really?
 
Okay, so let’s damn the details and get to the part worth sharing.  The band Train was also dining at this restaurant at a near-by table.  My two friends were stirred up by this celebrity sighting, and headed over to excitedly introduce themselves to the band.  I remained seated awaiting my Caesar Salad and glass of Merlot.  They were chatting with the band for a while and then the lead singer inquired about me.  Here’s exactly how I posted about this inquiry on my facebook page: “Then the lead singer (not even bothering to look up his name ... sorry Train fans) nodded over at me, and said, ‘What's the matter with her? Is she shy?’ My friends laughed at his silly question. Then I looked at him and spoke, ‘I'm not shy. Just not interested in meeting you,’ and quickly looked back away. I'm awesome even in my dreams.”
Yes, you can correctly conclude that I am not a Train fan.  Drops of Jupiter?  What the fuck are drops of Jupiter?  And why does he give a shout-out to deep fried chicken and soy lattes in that song?  I don’t want to meet Virginia, either.  Virginia doesn’t really sound all that interesting. Her hair is always a mess, she smokes a pack a day, and she wears high heels when she exercises.  That bitch is crazy, not fascinating.

Further, the singer claims he and Virginia just “like to sit at home and rip on the president.”  People! Stop ripping on the president, for Christ’s sake! If we don’t have respect for the office of president, how can we expect our children to respect their teachers, pastors, parents, coaches, and other mentors? (My apologies for the random soapbox.)

I admit I’m a music snob.  I don’t listen to a lot of “mainstream” artists.  My favorite artist is Aimee Mann, who was only mainstream decades ago as the former frontwoman of ‘Til Tuesday.  I appreciate lyrics, and that’s why I am not a fan of Train and didn’t make the effort to figure out the lead singer’s name.  I mean c’mon: “Hey soul sister – like a virgin, you’re Madonna – and I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind.”  Gonna? Wanna? Go to grammar school! Going to. Want to.

While I want to send Train to grammar school, I got my own ass schooled yesterday for hating on the band.  The following comment was left beneath my random dream posting: “His name is Pat Monahan and Train is awesome.” I suppose we will have to agree to disagree on this issue, but both confirm that music matters.

From this schooling, I learned two very valuable lessons:

1.       The lead singer of Train is Pat Monahan. Recognize.

2.       You can drop all the f-bombs you want on your blog, but don’t fuck with Train. 

Thanks for the knowledge! And to all of you Train fans and non-Train fans alike: Let’s keep music alive and support the band and choir programs in your local schools (both of which are so very sadly currently on the chopping block at my former district).  Dance to whatever music makes you happy and sing along loudly during every commute … especially if you hear Mister Mister on the radio (you’re welcome for that one final Train allusion)!



 

10 comments:

  1. I had no clue who the lead singer of Train is, either. I listen to NPR and NPR don't play Train.

    That being said, I think "Hey, Soul Sister" is pretty catchy. My tap students like dancing to it and they all pay attention when it plays, so I gotta swallow that poison.

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  2. I find Train's melodies to be inexplicably catchy and I'll find myself bobbing my head along with their songs when I hear them. But then I'll become aware of the lyrics and I'll stop. "I'm just a shy guy. Waiting for a 2-ply. Hefty bag to hold my love." What? Really? Get something more eco-friendly to hold your love. Also get less ridiculous lyrics.

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  3. You've no idea how hilar this is to me. First of all, my brother is the stage manager/guitar tech for Train. I've met Pat twice. I'm not a Train fan. And....I'm sending this link to my brother to share witj the band. It's cool cause I think Pat will trip.

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    1. Oh my gosh. That is hilarious. How wonderful to have this shared with the band. Make sure they leave comments! Ha! How great would that be to have Pat Monahan comment on my random blog post about not fucking with Train?

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  4. I cracked up at what the fuck are drops of Jupiter. This was hilarious, Angela! No mess with Train! I dream uber vividly as well. I remember everything! "You can drop all the f-bombs you want on your blog, but don’t fuck with Train" I shall remember that! I'm on the Band Wagon for music programs in our schools and the creative outlet they provide our kids.

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    1. Thanks Gina! You are an awesome rowmie!

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  5. Too funny. You are much better at remembering your dreams than I. My daughter recently turned up a current Train song on the radio and asked me if I knew who they were -- like she had some how discovered the band. She's 11. I assured her that I had heard them before.

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    1. That's too cute. Kids make me so happy with how awed they constantly are by the world -- even by things like the music of Train. :)

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  6. Ah dreams...but you know? I'm thinking that you're right - that ultimately, it's all about music, about dancing around no matter how old you are (or how much your back/hips/knees will hurt in the morning). There is, in the music world, even room for Train.

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    1. Yes. Agreed! There is room for Train. :)

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