My daughter’s favorite band was once Arcade Fire. Her father and I were both listening to “The
Suburbs” a lot while she was in the womb. She also remains a big fan of Blitzen
Trapper, Okkervil River, and Handsome Furs, from all the time she spent hanging
out with her favorite Uncle Jared this past summer listening to his hipster
music. I thought she was one awesome little toddler, but then the neurotic
mother in me began to worry that maybe she would be considered a little weirdo
by the other kids at daycare if she didn’t listen to more kid-friendly music.
So, now she’s a total fanatic for Nickelodeon’s Fresh Beat
Band – Kiki, Marina, Twist, and Shout.
Every time she hears those Fresh Beats, she’s up on her feet, clapping
and shaking her booty like nobody’s business.
I encourage her dancing, so I start to clap along too and say, “get it
girl” and “yeah, my girl likes to drop it like it’s hot.” So much for those worries about my daughter
being a little weirdo. Even when she
listens to common child’s music, she has a silly momma like me who taught her
to slap her behind when asked, “Emily, where’s your booty?”
This doesn’t concern me as much as the degree to which
everyone but Emily is getting annoyed as fuck with The Fresh Beat Band. My mother helps babysit, and recently told
me, “I know Emily loves those Fresh Beaters, but boy are they fucking annoying.” Her dad asked if we could please take the Fresh
Beat CD out of the car for a while because he “couldn’t take it anymore.”
Therefore, I have recently begun programming into Radio
Disney on XM Radio. Yesterday, while I
was transporting my two children, Radio Disney was playing some music that I
really questioned. I know I just
admitted to bragging that my baby girl likes to drop it like it’s hot, but
Radio Disney should have higher standards than me. I was not pleased when I heard Karmin’s “Broken
Hearted,” the song that my mother absolutely despises because of a line that alludes to anal sex. And after that,
Radio Disney played Pitbull. Pitbull!
Really, Radio Disney? Are we hanging out
in Mickey’s Club House or in “da club”? Pitbull sang, “Hey Baby. Yeah you,
Baby. Come Here, Baby. Let’s make a
movie, Baby.” Between you and me, I don’t
think Pitbull was singing about starring in some Disney “Buddies” movie with
that gang of adorable little dogs. He
was talking about filming a pornographic scene.
Yes, yes, it’s true that when I sing karaoke my two go-to
songs are “I Touch Myself” by the DiVinyls and “Baby got Back” by Sir
Mix-A-Lot. But, my babies don’t do karaoke
with me. When I sing with my children,
my go-to songs are “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” and “Jesus Loves Me.”
Yes, it’s also true I drop f-bombs on this blog like it’s an
all-out battleground. But, I hope no one
reads this shit to their children. There’s
a time and a place for everything, and I’ve certainly broken these boundaries a
time or two. Regardless, Radio Disney is
NOT the place for Pitbull and songs about slutting it up by declaring “I’ll do
anything you want to, just don’t leave me broken-hearted tonight.” Radio Disney, you’re breaking my heart, and
my husband’s head is going to be hurting too because it’s back to The Fresh
Beat Band CD.
I so hear you Angela! I am glad my youngest, who is 8, finally outgrew Nickelodeon. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteMine watch some of the shows but are utterly annoyed by the music...for which I am very glad.
ReplyDeleteLucky!
DeleteMy niece is 9, and now watches Teen Nick. She's all about iCarly and Victorious.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 44 year old dad and totally with you on this. WTF is going on with Disney Radio?? I expected to hear children's music, nursery songs, etc. Instead it sounds like a rave about to happen in my car. If they are test marketing music, for crying out loud do it under a different name. The songs I hear these days are sending adult themed messages to young ears. Shame on you Disney. Shame.
ReplyDelete