Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Send Purple Tutus

It’s homecoming week at the high school.  When it comes to this teenage tradition, I am really of two minds.  Part of me fucking hates this week because I’ve just never been that pig tails and pink lip gloss kind of “go team go” gal.  Part of me says to embrace it because raucousness is actually encouraged – to an appropriate degree.  That phrasing has to be oxymoronic, but I think you all get my point. 
This is what I remember from my high school homecoming experience: I painted two posters for the gymnasium.  We decorated the gym to show our school spirit.  Most of the posters contained clever and thematic phrases like “Crush the Cardinals” or “Go Hatchet Football.”  One of my posters had a sketch of a cheerleader on it, and simply read “Rah Rah Rah Shish Boom Bah” – no mention of either the home team or the opposition.  The other poster read “Get ‘Em Sloth,” and contained a caricature of the noted character of Goonies’ fame, complete with Baby Ruth candy bar. On spirit day, I also wore a sombrero for no particular reason. 
My body looks nothing like this. Skinny bitch.

Today was “Tacky Tuesday” for the current student body.  For some reason, this led to lots of teenage girls wearing brightly colored tutus over their leggings.  And this popular apparel choice led to my new strong desire to own a tutu.  So, in appreciation for bringing you laughter nearly every day, please send me packages containing tutus.  Adult size medium.  My favorite color is purple. 
Look! I've made it easy, and done the shopping for you:
I'll wear the tutu to a random location, take photos, and then blog about it.  Make your requests: Where should I wear the purple tutu?

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