Thursday, December 6, 2012

I made a Zazzle Shop, and I'm Sorry


I thought the wine was to blame, but wine couldn’t possibly be the culprit.  I can handle my wine, my friends.  So why the fuck was I up until 5 a.m. last night?  Aaah, yes.  It was that delicious, tempting Peppermint Mocha that I purchased after work; I often have a difficult time with caffeine.  However, I did not anticipate that sweet holiday classic coffee blend keeping me up all hours of the night.  The mocha is to blame for what transpired when I couldn’t sleep.

It all started out harmless.  In fact, I started out amazing after I picked up the children and got home.  I made a stunning chicken casserole of which I am very proud.  I cleaned up and put the toys and books that were scattered all over the floor away, I readied the table with plates, silverware, and wine glasses. I opened a lovely bottle of Clos Do Bois Chardonnay (this is a plug because this is my favorite Chardonnay, and you should so try it), and the family sat down for a meal together. 

After the meal was done and the dishes in the sink, I asked my husband if he could handle the kids so I could do my “bloggy stuff.”  So, I wrote and published a new post, read and commented on the great posts over on the yeah write challenge grid, uploaded some fun stuff to my facebook page, and interacted with the wonderful blogging community I have developed on twitter.  Bloggy stuff done, I snuggled the children for a while and then put them to bed when they nodded off.  I watched some Comedy Central with my husband, and then he headed for bed too, but I wasn’t tired.

The house was clean, and the family asleep.  I could have read a novel, but instead I found my way to Pinterest.  Fucking Pinterest.  There, I added some new stuff to my “CraftyShit I will Probably Never Do” Board (Isn't that wine cork wreath so cool, though?) and also pinned a few new recipes, seeing as I can actually be surprisingly and amazingly domestic when I so choose.  I started looking at Christmas pins and gaining inspiration for new traditions to celebrate with my family.  If you, too, wish to create new family traditions, check out Six Sisters Stuff.  Those crafty bitches really do have some wonderful ideas.  Clearly I am jealous of these women and all their wholesome, crafty, domestic goodness – but I sincerely do recommend following them.

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Okay, envy aside (damn your green head for making me digress), I also encountered a wonderful ornament in my Christmas pinning, created by Jennifer Hall at Just Jennifer.  This is when I had one of my Liz Lemon “I want to go to there” moments.  I let Jennifer know how great I thought her ornament was, and noted that I really hope I end up receiving this ornament in the awesome exchange currently being hosted by the Sarcasm Goddess (sign up now – it closes December 10th).  Then I decided I needed to make an ornament too, so I cruised on over to zazzle and set up shop.

I could have probably just made the ornament, but that’s not how my mind works (you know this by now) and it was about 3:00 a.m.  As I was still blaming the wine for my alert state at the time, I tried to name my shop “I Got Drunk and Made this Shop,” but zazzle said that name was too long.  Therefore, you will see my shop – “The Purple Tutu” – over on the sidebar.  My apologies, sincerely.  “This Shit is Really Expensive” is also too long for a zazzle shop name, just in case you were wondering.

So, yes, there’s a shop on my sidebar now.  Random products will probably appear during further bouts of insomnia, but I understand that no one really wants to buy that shit.  It’s okay.  If you forgive me for the shop, I will forgive you for not supporting it.  Let’s still be best friends.  However, you should know that if you buy a button, I will earn royalties of exactly twenty-five cents for every button sold.  Now, I figured this shit out, and right now my son is five months old (just turned today – smiley face).  So, if I earn one quarter every day until he is eighteen, I will have $1,605.25 towards his college fund.  Why don’t you want to my kid to go to college?  Just buy a fucking button! No, no, nevermind.  My apologies again. And all apologies for this really long post that basically boils down to an embarrassing sorry.

7 comments:

  1. How come when I click on the stuff, I just get a blank white page? Or is that because it's still in progress? Damn Zazzle for not letting you call your shop "I Got Drunk and Made This Shop."

    Oh, and I am so glad I'm not on Pinterest. I'd be up all hours of the night otherwise.

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    1. "Blank White Page" is probably the theme I chose last night. It was 3 a.m. I don't know. And, right? That would have beent he best shop name ever!

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  2. My Pinterest page is neatly organized into 156 various categories containing between 4 and 12,000 each. I think I have actually mimicked 4 ideas, total, but the chicken and dumpling soup really is just like Grandma used to make.

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  3. Well at least you're not blaming ME and my ornament for your crazy late night shenanigans! LOL

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    1. No. The mocha was definitely to blame. Damn the mocha -- LOVE your ornament! :)

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  4. Pinterest has gotten me in trouble with sleep too. Except my distraction was from the delicious options for casting 50 Shades of Grey and hilarious someecards. It really is addictive, isn't it? I don't really know what Zazzle is, but I'm going to go find out now. It sounds interesting.

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  5. You only get a quarter for a button that's $2.95? :( It should be more. I know someone has to make the button but it's your words (and marketing!) that sell the button. Nobody would be buying a blank white button. UNFAIR!

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