I have been divorced for ten years. It has been one entire decade since I walked
away from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. And yet, as my current husband recently
pulled down the Rubbermaid storage boxes from their garage shelves, many of the
holiday decorations contained within are still those purchased while in that
first marriage. I unpacked snowman
decorations that had been given as gifts by my former spouse, and opened a
container that held the blue and silver glass bulbs that we hung on our
Christmas tree.
I can’t precisely tell you why I never replaced them. I suppose I just considered these decorations
as mere objects, and never really thought of them as symbols of a failed
relationship. Did looking at a snowman
candle holder from Kohl’s bring tears to my eyes as I painfully recalled the
night my former husband attempted to choke me?
No, it did not; I just thought it looked appropriately festive sitting
on the fireplace mantle. Replacing the
decorations and the ornaments would be expensive, and I deemed this act unnecessary.
Those silver and blue bulbs of a marriage past were as
fragile as our relationship – easily broken.
I did not want my daughter to injure herself on the sharp, fragmented
bits of glass in the same manner I had been emotionally injured when my reality
was shattered through the revelation of my spouse’s unceasing dishonesty. I thought then of the false mystique of
splintered glass along the edges of roadways.
When those bits of broken glass are illuminated by a vehicle’s
headlights, they sparkle and shine like diamonds and gold. It’s all an illusion, though, just as my
happy, blissful marriage was.
For the safety of my children, who might naively be
fascinated with the shine of those silver, fragile bulbs, I could not in good conscience
place them upon the bows of the already erect tree. The lights had been strung, and my daughter
awed at the sight. However, we would not
finish decorating the tree that night. I
took that plastic container full of easily broken ornaments and put it back out
in the garage, stashed away behind other storage containers and a large
cooler.
The very next evening I went to the store and bought new
ornaments – shatter proof ornaments. On the
most basic level, these ornaments are a wise decision of a protective mother
who rightly predicted that her daughter would knock ornaments off the tree. When my daughter did this, though, after all
the new bulbs hung beautifully from the limbs of the pine, the bulb remained
unbroken. It held together, just as I
know and believe that this family will hold together through all difficult
times. This marriage – this beautiful,
blessed family – is shatter-proof too.
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I hooked up with the wonderful writers over at Yeah Write. Once again, I am telling you the posts on the challenge grid are well worth reading. Happy Holidays!
![](http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/challenge861.png)
<a href="http://yeahwrite.me/87-open/"><img src="http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/challenge861.png"></a>
Wow. I love the powerful part about not wanting the shattered glad to hurt your daughter like your ex did you. Sad, but poignant. And yes your family will be shatterproof I believe it!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteThis is awesome, Angela. I love the way you used the ornaments to represent both marriages.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Good luck on the Yeah Write grid!
DeleteMy hubby and I were married 10 years before we had kids. As soon as we did, the ornaments started piling in -- every year, our kids get to pick a special ornament and, now that they're in school, they are bringing hand-made ornaments home, too. Long ago we replaced the glass balls with an amazing variety of completely random ornaments -- there's no theme to our tree, unless you count family as the theme.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of your ornaments as a metaphor for your marriages. I am so glad for you that you now have something beautiful, strong and unbreakable.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great way to compare your former marriage to your new life. And I love the way that you've decided your life and your daughter's are deserving of a fresh new start. ;) Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteFantastic metaphor, Angela. What a wonderful way to look forward too, as a strong shatter-proof family.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. I wonder if a small part of you isn't relieved those ornaments aren't a part of your family Christmas now. It seems like the kind of thing you wouldn't notice bothering you until it wasn't.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on shatterproofing your ornaments. And your kid. :)
ReplyDeleteLove the whole analogy with ornaments. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteTradtion and ritual can bring such healing. Lovely post. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on moving forward in a most unbreakable way!
ReplyDeleteEveryone deserves unbreakable everythings, and I am glad you got them for your marriage and your ornaments. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have fresh starts. I'm happy for yours.
ReplyDeleteLove this. I'm so glad you found a happy, safe, loving place in life. You deserve it. Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteI love the metaphors strung through this and that like your tree now, your family is shatterproof. How perfect for the holidays and everyday. So happy for you, Angela!
ReplyDeleteI love it when you compare your marriage now to your previous one. It means there are miracles and you are one.
ReplyDeleteSweet post, Angela!! Sweet as in awesome. And awww. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the metaphor in this - heartfelt and not all gimmicky. Great post! And adorable family!
ReplyDeleteGreat metaphor. I left all my Christmas ornaments in the attic when I left my abusing husband 2 years ago so all of our ornaments are new. I hadn't really thought about what that meant until I read your story.
ReplyDeleteI love the happy ending! And that's such a sweet picture. :)
ReplyDeleteTerrific post! Brilliantly written! I pinned you here http://pinterest.com/lnmontessori/mom-lit-the-best-of/ and here http://pinterest.com/lnmontessori/mom-lit-holiday-memories/ And I liked your FB page!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I like the idea that you've made positive changes to ensure that your life is shatter-proof. Wonderful metaphor.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting parallels between your marriages and the ornaments. I think you took a great decision in storing them. Best wishes for the New Year.
ReplyDeleteI'm here from LHTW - What a beautiful post - I love the imagery of the shatterproof ornaments representing your family.
ReplyDelete