“Hi there. How is
your day, ma’am?” asked the young man who began scanning my items in the
Wal-Mart check-out lane.
“Just fine,” I said, removing the value size box of tampons
and placing it on his check-out belt, “And how are you?”
I should not have asked this question. I should have just nodded thanks and told him
all was well. No, I had to ask how he
was, not realizing how anxious he was to share.
Then this happened.
“Well, thanks for asking me because today is a pretty great
day,” he beamed, “There’s a new premiere of My
Little Pony - Friendship is Magic.” Yes, the approximately twenty year old male
Wal-Mart employee was now ecstatically intent on providing me with a proper education
of My Little Pony. I shit you not.
“Oh, yeah,” I nodded and smirked, “I’ve heard about you
people.” He didn’t seem at all daunted
or upset with my snide comment as I clearly referred to him as the other – you people. “What do you call yourselves again – Bronies?”
“Yeah,” he quietly acknowledged, “I don’t usually use that
term, but yeah … so you know about the marvel of the show then.”
“Yeah, well most of us who are big fans are also computer
geeks, so we understand the astonishing amount of work that goes into that
animation. It’s really quite impressive,
you know. That was the first thing that
drew me to the show. But, I mean, it’s
just so great in so many other ways. Do
you want the two year extended warranty on this, Miss?”
“Hmmm …?” I had to ask as I had begun to drone out his
praise of My Little Pony.
“The warranty? Do you want the warranty?” he said, referring
to the Leap Frog purchase I had made for my daughter’s holiday gift.
“No thank you,” I said, and then, in the hope that I might
detour him from further adulation of My
Little Pony, “Don’t you find their voices obnoxious though? I have to admit the show kind of annoys me.”
“Oh, I suppose I see where you’re coming from. Cheerilee can be kind of irritating at first,
but once you fully understand the show, you just ignore that because the
content is simply brilliant.”
BronyCon -- Yeah, this is a thing.
I arched my eyebrows and nodded my assent again, quickly
scanning to see how many items remained in my purchase to assess how much longer
I would have to endure his lesson.
“Yeah, I mean, it actually includes a great deal of
satire. You do know what satire is,
right? Well, yeah, and it alludes to a
lot of great novels and television shows.
They have made references to Star
Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and
even the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I bet you didn’t know all of that or you
would really appreciate the series so much more. Yeah, I’m just kind of bummed I’m at work
today and missing the new episode because I can’t afford TiVo. But, usually the creator will have new
episodes up on YouTube the next day. I
don’t know how he does that either. I
don’t know if you understand how impressive that is.”
I suppose I did not understand, but I now began to pay more
attention to his speech realizing what a wonderful opportunity for a blog post
he was now presenting me with. These
people are for reals! Grown ass men have
a serious addiction to My Little Pony,
and they apparently have no qualms in sharing their obsession with complete
strangers.
“The coolest part, though, the thing that really cemented
for me how amazing this show is was when one of my favorite actors voiced a villain
in one of the best episodes ever. Do you
know who John De Lancie is?”
“You don’t? Wow.
Well, he played Q in Star Trek. Most people know that.” Now I suppose he was insulting me, but I
really didn’t mind either. This comment
was definite evidence that my friends and his did not travel in the same
circles. “Well, he played one of the
villains and it was amazing. Of course,
the ponies won because they have the power of friendship on their side. It really teaches us to value our friends,
you know?”
I was most definitely valuing my friends right now. I prized our conversations about music and
literature, and cherished even more the absence of long, extolling exchanges
about cartoons. In my circle of friends, cartoon-centered dialogue was more
akin to this, “If I have to watch Dora’s holiday special one more fucking time,
I’m going to gouge my eyeballs out. Ugh,
would you order me another martini?”
“Well, you have a nice day now Ma’am,” the Brony finally
told me after I had made payment. “Oh,
and always remember that friendship is magic.”
Okay, okay, he didn’t really say that last part. He just wished me a good day, but I thought it
sounded far grander the way I wrote it.
So, you too now know that My
Little Pony is the most epic cartoon
ever and friendship always conquers evil.
Have a nice day, and also know to never ask the Wal-Mart employee how
his day is.
"Brony"?!?! HILARIOUS. I love this guy for his unabashed adoration of something I have always detested on general principle. There's a lesson in here for those of us who aren't nearly unapologetic enough about our passions or, let's face it, our beautiful weirdness. For a minute there, I thought the extended warranty was for the tampons. What a relief.
ReplyDeleteGood point. You do have to love his unabashed adoration. Our conversation was actually far longer than this. I had 39 items, and he talked about MLP that whole damn time. Yeah -- no warranty on the tampons. Too funny.
DeleteHoly cow. A brony. " suppose I did not understand, but I now began to pay more attention to his speech realizing what a wonderful opportunity for a blog post he was now presenting me with. " Isn't that the true. Bless his little pony-loving heart.
ReplyDeleteI learned so much more when I was searching for images for this post. Those grown men love their little ponies.
Delete